Waiting for God

Family Meeting Agenda

Elements can be modified to fit the unique situation you find yourself in.  Some families can easily discuss these topics, others will find it almost impossible. 

Find a setting that is conducive to a touchy subject.  Only have the people involved who are absolutely necessary for the discussion.  A written death plan can be shared with the community of care once the details have been determined.
    • Overview of physical condition and what to expect medically (if applicable)
    • Share feelings regarding the death and caregiving needs
    • Who will make decisions (e.g., financial, medical, hiring a caregiver, etc.) and how will they be made?
    • Who will be responsible for coordinating the life of the dying person
    • What are the dying persons wishes with respect to:
    • Daily caregiving needs
    • Living arrangements (e.g., Assisted living versus in-home
    • How much time does each family member have to visit?
    • Other ways each person can help? What other help might be available?
    • Financial concerns in caregiving:
      • How much will it cost?
      • How much work can family members afford to miss?
      • What financial help might be available from outside?
    • What support role does each person want to play, understanding their own needs
    • Help with meals, shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc.
    • Emotional support by telephone, video call, etc.
    • Help with chores and errands (Taking the care recipient to doctor’s appointments
    • How will the caregiving and support needs change as the journey to death progresses?
Some things to keep in mind:

What happens if the person at the end of their life is incapable of making decisions?  Many would like to die at home, for example, but what happens if this cannot be done due to resource contraints?  What alternative plans can be met?

While many would like to die surrounded by loved ones, the majority of people die when nobody is around.  The presence of loved ones tends to interupt the death process.   Keep in mind that people have the right to die.

Are there particular instances and/or people that must be avoided?  How will the community of care deal with such situations?